What is behaviour? This is a question that is asked a lot. So many models, so many disciplines that have been formed to explore it. We like to judge it, label it, define it, attempt to explain it. And, sadly, we are also very good at thinking about ways to control and change it!
I pose a simple question. How many times in the last few
days have you actively thought about controlling your behaviour? The answer, I
suspect, is not very much. We often just ‘do’. We think, we feel, we do (not
always in that order . Our behaviour in
the moment will very much reflect our emotional and mood state, our social and
survival needs and importantly our character. More widely behaviour is, in
essence, an expression of self. It is ours to have, ours to be responsible for
and is as much a part of our identity as the clothes we wear and the way we
style our hair! Actually, when we do have to really think about our behaviour
it is often because there is external pressure on us to do so: putting a mask
on before entering a shop, not talking in the library, or in the case of my
husband and I- thinking when it might be appropriate to show our love for each
other in public.
We all know what it feels like to have our behaviour judged
by others. More so, we know what it feels like to have our behaviour controlled
by the expectations of others. Most can relate to this from their time in
formal education, or from their time in the work place. Some, sadly, experience
this in the relationships they have found themselves in. Indeed, most have
experienced this during the time of national lockdowns due to the pandemic. The
level of control of everyday life, and therefore people’s behaviour, has led to
an emotional health crisis. Regardless of the importance of such measures, many
have struggled with the inability to express many of the social and connective
behaviours we had previously taken for granted.
Thinking in this way about behaviour is important. In the dog community we spend a long-time studying learning theory, which should be about helping to understand how these amazing animals learn and process, but instead seems to be more about giving us the power to more effectively and quickly change their behaviour to fit a human centred narrative. From the moment they come into our lives we use their need for food, play and social connection to get them to give us the behaviours we need, want and expect. Of course, we must teach our dogs how to safely connect to the world around them, but we have to the question how much of what we currently do through training has any innate internal value to them. Do we need this level of control and coercion or are there better ways to build a safe and trusting relationship?
There is a cultural bias towards micromanaging every aspect
of a dog’s life, and their behaviour. To simply seek to replace behaviours a
human has decided is inappropriate with one we want instead. We currently have
no idea of the effect of this on the psychology of dogs. To have their
behaviour so closely controlled and modelled. Or maybe we do!
There are countless accounts of children with trauma who have been subjected to the added trauma of simply being labelled as ‘difficult challenging or naughty’ and have their behaviour challenged, sometimes forcibly. We hear these stories from those that are now adults, who have finally received the support and indeed compassion they needed. Also, I have heard many colleagues and friends from the neurodivergent community share of the real harm done when they were children. Many were put through programmes that sought to arbitrarily change and control their behaviour. The sole goal of them having to conform to some external view of ‘appropriate’ behaviour, rather than supporting adaption that would stay authentic to their communication and emotional needs. They were forced to adopt behaviours that had little to no internal value to them, and the process proved deeply damaging and traumatic for many. Importantly, often this pressure and coercion comes from reinforcement type intervention, so it's not always about the use of punishment.
It is important to say I am not advocating that we shouldn’t
train dogs (I get this a lot, as do my colleagues who also talk about these
things). What it is about is us asking more questions about the true nature of
behaviour. The authentic, deeply personal role it can play in expressing
emotional needs, helping to find relief and projecting outwardly our true inner
self. We have got so used to discussing ‘how’ to change behaviour as a
community, finding ways to do it quicker and more efficiently. Now is the time
to start asking more of the why – and on every level!
So, simple question that formed the title of this post –
Whose behaviour is it anyway? Surely any behaviour change should start with
understanding the initial emotional need it was communicating in the first
place, along with any important self expression it carries. Then, any change
should come in an organic, authentic way for the animal and have some internal
value to them in process. If it doesn’t we just have an animal that does stuff
on cue (or is scared to do stuff in the case of an aversive) – what we don’t
know is what that might be doing for their ongoing psychology or emotional
state.
The dog's are waiting ! Waiting for us to work it out. It is
my opinion we will not learn much of their truth by simply trying to change and
control so much of their behavioural output.
Andrew Hale Dog Centred Care
