The Three Promises

Trigger warning. This post mentions the decision to euthanise a dog at their end of life.

I have taken in many dogs over the years. Some stayed as fosters, some we adopted. At the last count there has been 15 dogs that have come during their adoption journeys, most as fosters but Milo, Arthur, Harley, Bertie and Molly are the ones that stayed. We would have adopted them all if we had the space and the time ! (Sending love to everyone who helps with fostering - it is a tough job at times but so needed x)

Due to the nature of my job, the dogs that have found their way to us have been ones with varying degrees of challenges and care and support needs. Every dog has taught me something, not just about them but about myself as well. There is nothing more humbling, and rewarding, than helping a vulnerable, often traumatised animal, to feel safe and begin a journey of recovery. I am also reminded, that it is often challenging, difficult and at times overwhelming. These feelings help me stay grounded and appreciate what my clients may be experiencing as they support their own dogs.

I protect myself by refusing to see any dog as ‘broken’ based on other people’s versions of normal. I also have three, simple promises, that I make to any dog that comes into my life.

1. I promise to take you in as you are. This just means I will accept the dog, be it a puppy or an older rescue, for who they are and allow them the time they need to tell me their story and introduce themselves in their own way and in their own time.

2. I promise to always advocate for you and your care and support needs. This means I will give that dog the time they need to share their emotional truth. I will not seek to change their behaviour in an arbitrary way, but to discover what their individual care and support needs are- be they physical or emotional. Supporting their ability to feel safe, to feel safe to communicate, and ensure they are heard, will always be my primary goals. I will never apologise for my dogs need to feel safe and to communicate need, but I will apologise to the dog if I fail in that. This is a lifelong commitment, and I promise I will make the adaptations and compromises needed to support their care needs. (I want to add here, that I know sometimes personal circumstances mean we cannot keep this promise. In reality, the decision to rehome the dog can actually be part of fulfilling that promise. I know many who have rehomed their dog because they love them, not because they do not.)

3. I promise, when the time comes, I will try and gift you a peaceful end. We can offer so much to our dogs whilst they are with us, and those dogs lucky enough to find supportive homes will probably never know how lucky they are ! The final gift we can offer them, and in some ways the most powerful in my opinion, is a peaceful passing. When I adopt a dog, I know the probability is this time will come, and it is an important promise I must give to let them go when that time arrives, and not to hold on for my own needs. We can’t always guarantee a peaceful death, but when we can it is a gift we must offer.

If I keep to these three simple promises, I know I will have done all I can to support the beautiful, vulnerable animals that come to share our lives with us.

Huge shout out to everyone who either cares for, or supports, dogs with high care needs - physical and/or emotional. You are not alone, and whilst the struggles can be very real sometimes, the dog appreciates the quality of your ability to be present for them x x

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson